Traffic Court Ain't Night Court

Wednesday was my first (and hopefully, only) experience in the Fairfax County court system. I headed to traffic court to plead guilty to the crime of going 40 in a 25, and hoping that the judge's holiday spirit would reduce my fine and lower my points.

It was an interesting experience, to say the least. Court convenes at 9:30 a.m., so I showed up around 9:15 a.m., and headed inside to find a looooooong line for security. After checking in my cell phone (the judge hates cell phones, as I would hear repeatedly) and showing the guard that I didn't have any staples on my papers or concealed weapons in my Coach, I made it in to the courtroom, which surprisingly looked like a church with a big bench instead of pulpit.

The room was pretty full - probably around 150 or so. The majority were Hispanic, and a translator was making her way around the room. Around 9:25 a.m., the bailiff made a few announcements, reminded us that cell phones must be checked (lest anyone snuck one by the frisking guard out front) and told us to not chew gum.

I had taken along a magazine since I didn't really know how it all worked and didn't want to be bored, but in light of the rules of no gum, no talking and certainly no cell phones, I thought the judge might not look favorably on me reading Real Simple while he held court.

Now, I was hoping that the cop who gave me the ticket might not show up that day, and I'd have my case dismissed! No luck - when the cops all filed in at 9:29 a.m., he was first in the door. That should have given me a clue right there....

I'd asked the baliff how the whole thing was going to go down, what order people were called in, etc., and he let me know that the order is alpha, by cop. So, if a cop has three tickets on the docket, he's first. The cop with four is next, and so forth and so on.

Finally the judge came in and made all sorts of announcements... when he calls your name, come to the podium up front so he can hear you; say guilty, not guilty or no contest (same as guilty, but some people just can't bring themselves to say that word); and you sure as heck better not have brought in any phone, pager or gizmo that was going to beep. Geez.

The cops took their pledge and court began. The traffic violations were varied -- everything from passing a stopped school bus, to running a stop sign or light, to stopping on a higway. There were TONS of driving without a license violations, and most of the violaters reported in court that they hadn't and couldn't get a license (illegal aliens?). He was lenient with some and stricter with others, but overall seemed very fair.

So we are working our way through the cops... the first couple of cops had just a handful of tickets each, and then we moved to the cops with seven or nine. I kept waiting for my cop's name to be called in the handful bunch.... but no. Guess whose cop had 25 tickets on the docket?? Guess whose cop is the ticket machine??

When the judge finally called my name, I headed to the front and claimed guilty. He asked the cop if there was anything about the violation he should know, and the cop reported that I had an excellent driving record and was "very courteous" when I was stopped. I was surprised he mentioned that, but maybe people are usually so upset and grouchy with him that he rememberd me being polite? Afterall, I was the one doing something wrong, and he was just doing his job. (Although based on the number of tickets he doles out, maybe he does his job a little too well. :) )

The judge cut my fine in half and reduced the charge to 34 in a 25, which is a lower point value. I'll know in 10 days from last Wednesday what my final damage is -- the DMV assesses the points, not the courts.

All in all, it was an interesting experience, even though I would have prefered not to experience it at all! I feel like I've been even more cautious in the last few days, remembering back the list of violations I heard in court. Let's hope it was a once-in-a-lifetime visit.